This is for life

*Just a reminder that I am away this week.  So please leave comments and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

April 2006, Easter after Thyroid Cancer

Losing weight is hard. It is really hard. What I have learned since I lost 42 lbs on Weight Watchers and previous to that 25lbs on my own, is that maintenance is really freaking hard.

In 2008 I hit bottom. My health had been tanking for years. Thyroid problems, cancer, gestational diabetes, and just being plain overweight had taken its toll. My cholesterol was creeping up, my blood pressure was high for a 30 year old, and if I didn’t get my weight under control I was going to have diabetes permanently and not just when I was popping out kids.

I tried to lose weight on my own with short term success. Before Rebecca was born I had dropped 25 lbs with the help of a nutritionist. However, being a new mom and stressed all the time, I gained it all back. Once Isaac was born my endocrinologist, who is always helpful said, “You need to lose weight.” For some reason, I couldn’t stand my Dr. telling me I was fat, so I joined Weight Watchers.

When I walked in to that first meeting I was embarrassed and sad for how I had let myself go. The journey seemed intimidating and I didn’t truly believe I could lose the weight and keep it off, but I did.

June 2012, My 35th Birthday

It took me almost 1 1/2 years but I lost the weight and have become the most fit I have ever been. I weigh in faithfully every month to make sure that I am staying within my weight goal range and since 2009(can’t really count the time I was preggos) I have only been over my goal weight once.

Until this month. I gained almost 4lbs this month. The cruise, the summer, the beer. It all adds up.

And I am struggling. Maintenance is hard. I am finding it more difficult than the weight loss. It is much easier to give in to temptation when you feel good about yourself than when you don’t like what you see in the mirror. People always say in WW that thin tastes better than anything you can eat. Well, no. My brownie sundae tastes pretty damn good. You keep telling yourself it is only a pound here and there, but I know how quickly those pounds add up. In 2001, I gained 60lbs (thanks to a thyroid that went kaput and catastrophic eating habits)

What I love about Weight Watchers is you don’t give up anything. It is not a diet. I could continue to eat what I wanted but I just watched the portions. I changed my outlook on dieting from deprivation to motivation. So I learned to eat better while not depriving myself, I started a regular exercise routine, and I have been working on the stress that causes me to overeat.

And that worked for the first 3 years, but right now I find myself slipping into old habits. I struggle with each monthly weigh in, because I eat horribly the 3 weeks in between. My schedule has made it difficult to get to meetings and I have finally faced the fact that I haven’t given up my sweet tooth.

So I am looking for some motivation. I am trying a new exercise plan to help. I am thankful to Another Mother Runners June exercise challenge and I am tracking everything I eat (even though I absolutely hate it), and I am trying to limit alcohol to 1 or 2 beers a week. (I am really not a lush but beer packs on the pounds)

June 2012, Race at the Zoo

I know I am going to get through this, because I really don’t want to be as unhealthy as I was 4 years ago when my Dr. told me things had to change. When I went in for my last 6 month check up he couldn’t believe how fit I had become, and I felt really proud at all the progress I had made.

Maybe I should record him saying it. Never hurts to have a more positive voice in your head to drown out the negative tape.

What have you done to motivate yourself through a tough weight challenge?

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