(This is a post about anxiety. If you suffer from anxiety I don’t believe you can just pray it away. I have been in intensive therapy for over 6 years to help me recognize where the anxiety came from and how to handle it. Some people need medication, some people need a listening ear. And I truly believe all of this needs to be surrounded in prayer, love and support. If you feel incapacitated by anxiety reach out to someone, therapy truly can transform lives. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t be writing today.)
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
- Would you tell that someone you love them, even if you haven’t spoken in years?
- Would you forgive what you thought was unforgiveable?
- Would you ask for forgiveness?
- Would you start living the way you are called to live?
For most of my life I have been afraid. My teachers called me worrywart in elementary school. There was always something I could wrap up in anxiety and carry around with me in a backpack. I often didn’t try new things, or say what needed to be said because I didn’t believe that I could succeed or it would make a difference if I did.
The problem with anxiety is it makes us start from a place that believes we can control the world. A place that says every worry has a solution if I just stay up late enough to figure it out. How much more sleep I would get if I didn’t try to strangle a solution out of every problem?
I am starting to learn that there is not one thing in this world that I can control, and while that used to scare the crap out of me, now I find it freeing.
Because I know someone who is unfailing, unshakeable, and firm in every storm. And when I tether myself to him, I will always be okay.
No matter what happens.
This certainty has lessened the weight I carry around. Every day I learn to hand something else over that I thought I had to control. It doesn’t mean I sit around waiting for something to happen. No, now I act in the best way I can and I trust that no matter the result I will be okay.
Some days it works better than others.
Today I carried a whole car of worry behind me on my run. It was positively pulling me back with every step I took forward. I felt terrible because I couldn’t figure out why I was so anxious. Have you ever been worried for no other reason than being worried? It’s a terrible feeling and it leaves me searching for the one thing that will make it okay.
But with each step that I slid backwards, the phrase I read this morning kept popping up in my mind. He can’t be shaken.
It doesn’t matter what I can’t do, because he does. In fact he already did. There is nothing that God can’t do.
So I ran. And each step got easier. And by the time I got back to thehouse the weight that sat on my chest since last week was gone. I felt free.
I stepped into the house and the first thing I saw was a call from my kids’ school and instead of my stomach jumping into my throat, I felt free. The day only got more tense after that, but I still felt free.
Today I believed I could do anything, because it wasn’t me doing.
It was all God.
So what can you face, if you knew you couldn’t fail? If it wasn’t all up to you. That there was someone else who had your back, and not just your back, but the whole universe.
I bet you could step out into the unknown.
I have good days and bad, but the good are becoming the norm and I can feel when the bad ones have their grip on my back. I don’t try to fix it on my own anymore. Now, I turn to the one person who can.
And I believe because He can’t fail, I can’t either.