Last night I was at our Catalyst service, and was convicted by the sermon. The topic was habit, and how our habits turn into rituals that we don’t even think about. We just do. And then we lose all meaning for what the habit was supposed to be teaching us.
So much of my life is based on habit.
I get up every morning and journal. I run 3 days a week. I write every morning and afternoon. On Thursdays I eat donuts. I read every night before bed. Sunday nights at 9 are devoted to Walking Dead. Now, there isn’t anything spiritual about these things, but they are things I do without even thinking about them. And that’s okay for most things.
Date night has kinda become that way. And it isn’t okay for that.
I believe all married couples and especially married with children couples, should date. I know it sounds silly and with everything going on in life a date night once a week sounds impossible. But it is really important for your marriage, happiness, and even parenting to get out once a week.
Michael and I do this faithfully. For a while we took a pottery class together every Monday night. We ate dinner together beforehand and then got our creative side on. After a while we noticed we didn’t really interact for the 3 hours we were together, so we switched it up.
More recently, we’ve been heading around Cleveland and trying out breweries. Which is fun, but like everything it’s lost it’s meaning because we do it every week. There are some nights we are heads down, both on our phones. And after dinner is over, we don’t really know what to do.
So although our date night is a good thing, we’ve lost the connection that gave it meaning.
It’s time to shake things up again. And we are going to try something different. Instead of heading to our favorite watering hole, we are making a list of things we’ve wanted to do and see how that changes our date night habit into something more than ritual.
Tonight we are going to play basketball. A game I love to play, but became too short for by the end of 8th grade. Racquetball is next. Maybe a spin class. And since we can’t get rid of the snow, we might as well ski in it. Something I’ve never done, but always wanted to try.
Getting out of the rut will give our Monday nights a little more meaning. I’m hoping it will create new conversations, new things to bond over, and new reminders of why we got married 13 years ago. It’s probably going to be more meaningful than seeing how many scotch eggs and beer soup we can keep down.
Which is a lot, by the way.
What are some of your favorite date nights that don’t involve dinner and a movie?