Bring it On

I’m going to out myself.  I officially started training for my first full marathon this week.  I think I just threw up a little.  The thought of 26.2 miles of just me and my thoughts scares the living daylights out of me.  Can I even do it?

It’s hard admitting out loud I’m doing a full marathon.  Even though I’ve been running for several years and have 6 half marathons under my belt, some days I don’t feel like a runner.

Some days I still feel like this girl

But that girl was unhappy, so I became this one.

June 2012, Race at the Zoo

And this girl wants to be uncomfortable.  And I can’t think of anything MORE uncomfortable than running 26.2 miles.

  • Except cancer
  • Being 60 pounds overweight
  • The hypothyroidism leading to the lethargy, anxiety and depression that caused me to miss my 20’s.
  • Gestational diabetes
  • Living with a chronic condition

It’s taken me a couple of years to realize what I didn’t at the time.  These things didn’t consume me, they didn’t kill me, they didn’t obliterate me.  I survived.  And my life has become something I couldn’t even imagine at 25.

So I say, bring it on.

Now, I’m running a marathon, and choosing the pain,  because I know I can survive it. I’m writing the novel I always wanted to write, because I can.  I’m speaking in front of people at church, because God gave me a story to tell.

I know people out there are going through a lot.  I have been in those bleak places, the ones you can’t imagine getting out of.  But, I’m living proof that there is joy in the uncomfortable.  Those spaces are the ones moving us forward and out of where we were.  I never want to go back to who I was.  That girl watched life race by her.

Now, I choose to join in.

 

 

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